wee warner

The Perfect Storm

2010-07-07T22:40:00.013-04:00

Standing in the shower, I thought to myself “It’s past time for another blog post. But I really don’t know what to write about.” One of my goals when I set out to write this blog was to share glimpses of our life without over sharing the mundane.

While it was a big weekend around here when Ethan began sitting up, we are proud of his advanced verbal skills, and we think his two little teeth are adorable, I am keenly aware that these are milestones that all children experience. If I shared the day to day the take away for those with little ones would be “Been there. Done that.” And readers without babes just wouldn’t understand the absolute thrill of mastering the pincer grasp.

As I pondered possible topics about which to wax poetic, fate was rubbing her dirty little hands together and echoing a loud cackle. Within less than ten minutes time, the perfect post unfolded before me.

We generally wake up around six in the morning and after I feed Ethan, he enjoys lying on our bed, head propped on a pillow, surrounded by toys to occupy him while we get ready for the day. As you can imagine I am distracted no less than 15 times by this adorable ball of baby chub giggling and rolling around our bed. Over the past few months Ethan has become increasingly ticklish, especially on his neck. He has figured out that if he scrunches up his shoulder and turns his head he can essentially lock down that soft little neck from the kisses, all the while cracking himself up with pure joy.

So on that fateful morning as I approached him to sneak some sugar, the perfect storm began brewing. I lean down, go right for the sweet spot on his neck, he scrunches his shoulder, turns his head, giggles, and throws up. Right into my open mouth. Yes. You read that correctly. HE threw up in MY mouth. Holy smoke. I turn toward the bathroom and head straight for the sink as I hold my mouth and tongue as still as possible as to not agitate what is now resting there. I spit and rinse. And spit and rinse. And spit and rinse. And then let out an “Uuuugggh” only to turn and see that wee one looking right at me with a twinkle in his eye and a smirk on his face.

And there you have it. A glimpse into our life. Not mundane. And a story definitely worthy of the blog.

The Chosen One

2010-05-20T09:09:00.004-04:00

On my 17th birthday I sat nervously in the bleachers of a gym awaiting the awards ceremony for the state science fair. My project (whose title is too long and nerdy to mention here) had won first place at the school, county, and regional level. My anticipation rose as names were called for each medal in my category. Honorable mention - nope, not me. Third place - not my name either. Second place - not me again. Oh well…it was a fun ride. First place - Jennifer Smith. Oh my. No way. How exciting. I confidently marched down to take my place on the podium. I leaned down lowering my head for the gentleman to place the medal around my neck. And then rose back up to stand as proud as if I had just claimed gold in the Olympics. I stood tall that day as the big winner.

But I also lost something. Something very important to me. When we got back to New Bern I realized that my little pillow had been left at the hotel. So my mom called the front desk, explained that this was no ordinary pillow, described what it looked like, and asked if they had found it. They promised to keep an eye open for it.

I was distressed. How could I possibly sleep without my half pillow? It was made completely of foam – a thin sheet folded in half, filled with small shredded bits of foam, and stitched on all sides. It was so soft and smelled so good. It was about half the size of a standard pillow and I stacked it atop whatever regular pillow I was sleeping with. This little thing went everywhere with me for as long as I can remember. But now it was gone. And I would never see it again.

Almost all children have a “little pillow.” My sister had her “B” – a gray knitted blanket that in its current state is now just a pile of yarn. My cousins all had there own things - Megan had a small brown down comforter that now has no feathers in it. Dale had a waffle weave receiving blanket that he named Nana. My college roommates all had their bears tucked on their bunks. It is the classic story of the Velveteen Rabbit.

I have sat many a night feeding Ethan in his nursery all the while studying the toy basket full of stuffed animals. I wonder which one will make the cut. Which of these cuddly animals or blankets will become his Velveteen Rabbit? Who among these furry friends will be the chosen one? Who will be so loved that their fur is rubbed away and their eye has fallen off? Will it be the classic Pooh from Aunt Sarah? Or maybe the round cow from Mary. Perhaps the new donkey from Michael. Maybe the soft rabbit from the Easter Bunny. It’s possible that Ethan’s pick hasn’t even been given to him yet.

I’m not sure which one will be the chosen one. But what I am sure of is this: I will go to the ends of the earth to make sure that his “little pillow” never knows the fate that mine did. If I end up buried in a laundry hamper in the basement of a hotel searching for his special friend, so be it. And while I eventually was able to sleep without my foamy companion, I know deep down that if it was still around I would have it tucked under my regular pillow right now. And I would sleep like a baby.

P.S. – The current front runner is a frog blanket (seen in the picture above) given to us by our friend Liz that we have creatively named Froggie. Ethan adores it and by that I mean he loves to try to eat it. (But for some reason I think a frog head/blanket body might not be the final choice.)

Mother's Day - Concrete Things

2010-05-10T13:41:00.004-04:00

In honor of Mother's Day, here are my thoughts on being a Mommy. Orginally posted on one of my favorite blogs - Design Mom.

I am believer in concrete things. I am skeptic of ghosts and psychics and sensing things. But sometimes something happens that makes me realize that not everything is black and white and crystal clear.

I think before my mind knew that there was a teeny tiny life in my belly, my heart understood exactly what was going on. When the wee one had been around for just ten days and we were seven days from finding out that he was on the way, my mind was going at a breakneck speed thinking about a thousand possibilities while my heart calmly decided it was time to put pen to paper (actually, fingers to keys).

And this letter of intention came to be…ignoring the minutia of my mind and simply saying what my heart truly knew was already real.

I will teach my child the best life lessons I know. I will teach them the importance of service, strength of character, deep faith, abiding compassion, intentional action, beauty of spirit, and that, in the end, it only matters that we have loved each other and cared for one another. That things, and titles, and numbers, and status are irrelevant. And that when you leave this world, whether at 9 years or 90 years, you must have made a difference.

I will be the keeper of memories for my child. I will record their milestones, their funny stories, their triumphs, their stumbles. I will take lots of pictures and write lots of clever and witty things. I will create books of memories that they will treasure when they grow old and nostalgic. And I will share these photos and videos and writings with the friends and family around us so they can be a part of how special my child truly is.

I will give my child a beautiful home with his or her own little space in our world. It will be colorful and creative. It will be a retreat that fosters fantasy, imagination, wonder, and growth. And it will be okay to be whatever and whoever you want to in that place. No apologies or excuses necessary.

I will play with my child. I will take the time to turn off the tv, close down the computer, take time away from work and errands and adult things to spend time laughing and playing and creating and living life with my child. We will be so silly together and not have a care in the world. We will make all sorts of things like toys and crafts and books and funny little keepsakes. It will be okay to make a mess. We will plan great adventures and go on fantastic journeys. And we will sing songs loudly and off key. And we will dance with no rhythm. And it will be so much fun.

I will be patient. I will be understanding. I will speak kindly. I will be respectful. I will be firm. I will guiding. I will listen. I will require good manners. I will cry. I will celebrate. I will give. I will care. I will love. And I will be a wonderful mommy.

Top Ten at 10

2010-02-13T12:45:00.009-05:00

Hard as it is to believe, Wee Warner is 10 weeks old! Time sure flies when you are having fun, huh? Well, the little guy is still as cute as can be. He is growing like a weed (over 11 lbs.). He loves to smile and is on the verge of an all out giggle. We adore him and are quite proud of this amazing, precious, tiny being we created.

In honor of his tenth birthday, here are a few top tens.

Top Ten Cutest Things about Ethan
1. fat thighs
2. little toes
3. pursed lips
4. pouty lips
5. almost giggling smile
6. wiggly legs
7. chubby cheeks
8. jazz hands
9. button nose
10. fuzzy soft hair

Top Ten Things We’ve Learned from Ethan
1. Even at 4 in the morning when you can barely hold your eyes open, you adore that little one.
2. Once you divide your day into 1 ½ hour blocks, all things seem possible.
3. A soft whimper is adorable. A loud scream can make you lose your mind.
4. You can feel quite accomplished at the end of a day in which you have bathed, dressed, and even made it to the grocery store.
5. Daycare is stupid expensive.
6. You can add ‘ie’ or ‘y’ to the end of any word to make it baby friendly.
7. Being sprayed with pee during a diaper change should be the lesser of your concerns. It is the other spray that is startling and much more dangerous.
8. Wearing footie pajamas all day is the way to go…especially if the footies are an adorable animal.
9. It is much easier to sleep in someone else’s arms than all by your lonesome self.
10. No matter how rough it gets from the screaming and pooing to the constant eating and lack of sleeping, love really does conquer all.

Top Ten Things We’ve Taught Ethan
1. Don’t be tacky. If you have gaudy lawn decorations people will talk about you when they are out walking their baby.
2. Daytime TV is quite interesting but not something you want to partake in on a regular basis.
3. You should bathe often as no one likes people who smell sour.
4. All you really need is something yummy to eat and lots of cuddling and you’ll be happy.
5. Snow days are the best because you get even more bundled up and cuddly.
6. Good manners are important…you should always excuse yourself after passing gas.
7. Take as many naps as you can when you can.
8. Welcome visitors into your home with open arms and they will return often…usually with gifts.
9. Dress your best when going out…you never know who you’ll run into.
10. The more love you give the more love you get.

Top Ten Photos of Ethan

Ok so there are more than ten but they are all pretty darn cute, don't you agree?

Finding Christmas

2010-01-08T15:28:00.004-05:00

The ornaments are nestled all snug in the attic and the stockings have been tucked in boxes with care. Cookies baked, cards mailed, gifts exchanged, thank you notes written. And the tree was hauled away from the curb today. Christmas has come and gone.

But even with all that done, I really had to search for it this year. You see, I am a sentimental person. I honor tradition. I find meaning in little things. Joy comes from creating holidays made up of activities and happenings that mean something to me, to us, to our family year after year.

I enjoy the hustle and bustle of shopping amidst the holiday glitz while the air outside brings a chill. I revel in evenings full of baking all sorts of cookies. Late night drives around varied neighborhoods to see over-the-top lighting displays are always a fun time. My sister and I love filling and hanging the socks on the mantle at Nana's house. And most of all, I find the deepest meaning for the hullabaloo of the season in the stillness at the altar on Christmas Eve. As the service comes to a close, lights dimmed, congregation kneeling, organ silenced, singing Silent Night, I come to the realization that no matter what has been done and what has been left undone, Christmas will be a glorious day filled with the love of time spent with one another.

But this year all the presents were purchased and wrapped long before the first decoration was hung. There were no late night trips to view houses all lit up and while the goodies all got made, it was solely by Brett. And on Christmas Eve, I sent everyone off to church without me.

And that is when I found Christmas. That night I sat quietly in the living room illuminated by the soft glow of the Christmas tree lights. I tuned the television to the Sounds of the Season music station and, by no coincidence, Silent Night filled the air. As I hummed the tune I looked down at my arms to see the greatest gift we had been given–precious Ethan. And there I found Christmas–different than before but with the promise of so many new traditions and joys to come.

Concrete Things

2009-12-10T13:42:00.008-05:00

One of my favorite bloggers, Design Mom, recently announced that she is pregnant with her fifth(!) child and to celebrate was sharing birth stories of friends and readers. I shared with her a post I had written for the Wee Warner blog but had not yet published.

My story is more of a pregnancy story than a birth story but after rereading it, I suppose it can just be called a life story. She posted it last night so visit her blog and enjoy: Concrete Things.

Introducing Ethan Thomas Warner!

2009-12-07T17:59:00.031-05:00

1. Ethan
2. Mom and Ethan at about ½ hour old
3. Mom and Ethan admiring each other
4. Rex Hospital Volunteers knit hats for each newborn
5. Proud Papa and Ethan
6. Snuggling Dad
7. Holding on to Mom
8. Happy baby
9. Cuddling with Dad
10. On the way home
11. Our new family
12. All settled at home

Welcome Happy Morning!

2009-12-04T10:58:00.001-05:00

Bright and early this morning the whole world stood still just for a single moment, stretched out her arms, and welcomed one special and unique bundle of joy. Ethan Thomas Warner made his grand debut at 5:47 a.m. weighing in at 6 pounds 5 ounces and stretching to 19 ½ inches long. Very alert, healthy, and happy to be here, the little fella is cute as a button and Mom and Dad are thrilled.

Pictures coming soon!

Building the Nest

2009-11-23T23:51:00.011-05:00

With just a few weeks to go I am getting the nesting question quite often. “Have you started nesting?” “Are you cleaning every nook and cranny?” “Have you rearranged the entire house?”

Yes. I started nesting. Fifteen years ago. Truth be told, I am nester by nature everywhere I go. I nest in my car. I nest in my office. I even nest when we sit down at a table in a restaurant. Crazy, I know. But I really do arrange the salt and pepper, silverware, napkin dispenser - whatever is on the table gets placed just right so that all can have their meal in peace and order.

So as one could imagine, our home is nesting headquarters. On any given day most things are right where they should go in our house. (Lucky for me I ended up with a fella who is neat and tidy.) With a wee one on the way, the nesting instinct has certainly been of assistance in preparing everything from a tiny wardrobe with all the essential gear to the most charming little nursery around.

Wee Warner’s haven ‘o havens is complete and we often find ourselves walking in just to admire all the cuteness. After furniture shopping was complete, the sewing began and, dear Lord, I didn’t realize how much tenacity I had in me. One project after another rolled off the line and made its way up the stairs until there was a room full of lovelies arranged just so.

Here is the run down. There are two small pillows, a padded bumper, two crib sheets, a crib skirt, a changer that is no joke, an adorable monkey laundry bag, a striped window valance, a covered lampshade, a repurposed and painted bookshelf, framed prints discovered on Etsy, and a mod mobile that I secured at the staff sale at the Museum Store for $10 (originally in the triple digits). And a few extra sewing projects: a nativity and fishy blanket (which you may recall), a super chic diaper bag, a few pairs of shoes, a bag of soft blocks, a miniature Boy Scout uniform, and a dozen or so burp cloths to round it out.

I really have no idea where the time came from that it took to make it all happen. And I certainly will never understand how I can do all that but I simply cannot bring myself to put away the laundry with regularity. I guess planning all the details, choosing patterns and fabrics, preparing all the pieces and parts, creating project after project, and feeling the accomplishment when we peer around that joyous little space is at the heart of it all.

While there is much to beam about with all the creations, in a few short weeks, our greatest creation in the last nine months will make his debut and the preciousness of his little kingdom will pale in comparison to the wonder we will experience each moment with him.

(And with a swift kick to my belly button, he declares this post is done.)

Busy Wees

2009-10-30T16:31:00.007-04:00

One of my biggest pet peeves is when people go on and on about how busy they are.

“Sorry I haven’t called—I have just been so busy!”
“We should get together when things slow down.”
“I have been swamped. I can’t get my head above water.”

The thing is…we are all busy, all the time. Rarely do you ever hear someone say that they are really bored with their life and that they have so much free time on their hands. But your busy is no different than mine—no more or less important than what I have going on. More often than not, busyness is an excuse people use for not staying in touch, not calling, not arranging social interactions.

And man, have we been busy!! The month of October has been jam-packed. But no excuses here. Our busy has been full of staying in touch, visiting with pals, traveling, hosting dear friends at our home, and celebrating big events.

We welcomed the month with my sister coming to town for a concert by none other than the best band in the whole world ever—U2. I could be one of their biggest fans and the show was truly unbelievable. Even the wee one enjoyed it. The following weekend we attended the glorious nuptials of my dear friend Gwen. It was beautiful and sweet and fun and everything a wedding should be. And it wrapped up our tour of four weddings from June to October.

Then a big fat weekend was upon us. Brett and I headed to the mountains to usher in the fall season in celebration of his 30th birthday. We stayed at the charming Hill House and ventured to the outer edges of our great state to ride the Great Smokey Mountain Railroad. On Saturday evening we made our way the Corner Kitchen for dinner and much to his surprise, Brett was surrounded by 16 of his best friends for a grand celebration. His initial response upon entering the party was “I wondered why all these people were starring at us. I mean she’s just pregnant.” We so enjoyed spending time with everyone and were reminded what good people we have in our lives. A great time was had by all! (And I gave Brett a baby/birthday gift for his Wee Scout!)

Another big weekend was around the corner. Sarah came to town and we made our annual trek to the good ole North Carolina State Fair. The mullet pool was low as we went in the morning and discovered that the best people watching must occur in the evening but we ate fried goodness and reveled in pig races nonetheless. Friday afternoon we got a good portion of Christmas shopping under our belts at the Shopping Spree holiday market.

Saturday brought a big celebration. Sarah and my good friend Megan hosted a baby shower in honor of me and Wee Warner. Again, I was surrounded by so many dear friends and family who gave us wonderful gifts to welcome our little bundle soon. It was such a splendid affair full of fabulous food, hilarious fun, and lots of smiles. (The favors at the shower were adorable and matched the napkins and invites!) We capped off Sunday with a mini birthday brunch for Sarah.

We’ll round out the month with a trip to Smith Mountain Lake this weekend with a few good friends. I anticipate eating a lot of food, reading a bit, being quite lazy, and hopefully sneaking in a game or two of Phase 10. All of this visiting and traveling and celebrating was sprinkled during the weekdays with Birth Class on Tuesday nights, AquaMoms on Thursday nights, and creating a precious nursery for the little guy.

Whew! We really packed it in and while I am ready to be home for a bit, it has certainly been a refreshing way to wind down the pre-baby phase of our lives surrounded by much love and joy. Here's to you, my dear friends and family!

The Courage to Raise a Child

2009-10-07T23:46:00.005-04:00

Several years ago I caught an episode of Oprah about dead-beat dads. It was one of those shows that was very touching and I was quickly drawn into the stories of the families and children featured. About half way through I found myself really feeling great compassion for these children and the lack of a father in their lives, a father who had chosen not to be there. It wasn’t until the show was nearly over that I realized “Hey, wait, that’s me. This show is about me.”

My parents were divorced when I was barely able to walk. My mother packed her three little girls in the car and left everything she had to seek a better life for us. My father visited us for a few years but once he remarried the visits ended. Life for us went on—a house full of girls making their way through the world together. My mother had a can-do spirit and worked hard to provide a happy and safe home for us.

My father has intentionally chosen not to participate in my life. Year after year my birthday passes and I wonder if he remembers that this is the day on which a life that he helped create came into this world. It is more of a curiosity for me than an emotional thought. I let go of him long ago. He is as much a stranger to me as someone I pass on the street. So removed from our lives is he that my sister and I don’t call him father at all, but on the rare occasion that he is mentioned, we refer to him simply as “sperm donor.”

In the quiet still that comes late at night when all around have begun to slumber, my thoughts turn to what kind of parents Brett and I will be. I imagine that even when your children are grown and have little ones of their own, you may still worry about being the best parent you can.

This past Father’s Day, Parade Magazine published a reflection on fatherhood written by President Obama. It is such a poignant reminder of the responsibilities that are gifted to those who choose to bring a life into this world.

“We need fathers to step up, to realize that their job does not end at conception; that what makes you a man is not the ability to have a child but the courage to raise one.”

Obama recalls the birth of his first daughter: “I think about the pledge I made to her that day: that I would give her what I never had—that if I could be anything in life, I would be a good father. I knew that day that my own life wouldn’t count for much unless she had every opportunity in hers. And I knew I had an obligation, as we all do, to help create those opportunities and leave a better world for her and all our children.”

I have full confidence that Brett will give our little one every opportunity possible, that he will strive for a better life, that he will fulfill his responsibilities, and that he will have the courage to embrace what it truly means to be a father.

Quiz Answers

2009-09-26T13:41:00.001-04:00

So here are the answers to the quiz. How did you do?

Apple------ Gwyneth Paltrow
Camera----- Arthur Ashe
Chastity------- Cher
Coco------ Courtney Cox Arquette
Daisy Boo------ Jamie Oliver
Denim----- Toni Braxton
Diezel----- Toni Braxton
Diva Muffin------ Frank Zappa
Dusti Raine----- Vanilla Ice
Elijah Blue----- Cher
Fifi Trixibelle----- Bob Geldof
Free----- Barbara Hershey
Jermajesty------ Jermaine Jackson
Jesse James----- Sean Diddy Combs
Little Pixie----- Bob Geldof
Moon Unit----- Frank Zappa
Moxie CrimeFighter----- Penn Jillette
Peaches Honeyblossom----- Bob Geldof
Pilot Inspektor----- Jason Lee
Poppy Honey----- Jamie Oliver
Puma----- Erykah Badu
Lourdes------ Madonna
Sage Moonblood----- Sylvester Stallone
Seven Sirius----- Erykah Badu
Spec Wildhorse----- John Mellencamp

And He Shall Be Called...

2009-09-09T00:39:00.047-04:00

For family and friends we talk to on a regular basis, the line of questioning 26 weeks in has changed to one of singular focus: What are you going to name this child? My dear Nana (God bless her) even asked my mother what the deadline to name the child was.

“Birth,” my mother replied.

I come from a family that is downright incestuous when it comes to naming girls. If you don’t have Kathryne, Elizabeth, Jane, Ann, or Margaret in your name you simply shouldn’t even bother showing up at holidays. So had this wee one been a girl, we could have picked out a name months ago. There is some repetition with male names but not nearly with the same intensity.

Brett comes from a family with 6 sets of aunts and uncles, 18 grandchildren, and 2 great grandchildren with 2 more on the way. And, to the best of my knowledge, not a single name is repeated. Who even knew that was possible?

Needless to say, these circumstances have not really helped too much in the ever important process. So much time is spent on picking out nursery décor, fussing over adorable little outfits, reading hundreds of thousands of pages about pregnancy, birth, infancy, boobies and the like. But nothing tells you what to name your baby. Of course we bought a baby name book. That is mildly helpful. But either of us reading through it just turns into one joke after another. “We could go with Brutus. Or Bruton. Or Broccoli.”

Perhaps the best inspiration for baby names is Hollywood. Let’s be honest. The kids coming off Rodeo Drive have the hottest names around. No one will ever forget your name. You won’t ever find yourself at a workplace where 5% of the people share your name. (Yes, 5% of the staff at the Museum is named Jennifer. There are 7 of us.) When you have wandered away from your frazzled mother and she begins screaming your name across the grocery store, there is no doubt you are being the one summoned. So in honor of the sheer creativity (read: lunacy) of the starlets of the big screen, enjoy a little quiz - match the parents with their respective children. Answers will be posted in a few days - give yourself a challenge by not just Googling the answers.

And while we think Wee Warner is a pretty catchy and unique moniker, it really can’t stick around so all suggestions are welcome.

P.S. - The full name Jennifer Smith is the most common name in the United States. It also happens to be my maiden name. While we probably won't end up with something so rare as those below, we will at least rest assured that our bundle of joy will not be a commoner.

The Unfortunate Children
1. Apple
2. Camera
3. Chastity
4. Coco
5. Daisy Boo
6. Denim
7. Diezel
8. Diva Muffin
9. Dusti Raine
10. Elijah Blue
11. Fifi Trixibelle
12. Free
13. Jermajesty
14. Jesse James
15. Little Pixie
16. Moon Unit
17. Moxie CrimeFighter
18. Peaches Honeyblossom
19. Pilot Inspektor
20. Poppy Honey
21. Puma
22. Lourdes
23. Sage Moonblood
24. Seven Sirius
25. Spec Wildhorse

The All-to-Creative Parents
a. Arthur Ashe
b. Erykah Badu (2)
c. Toni Braxton (2)
d. Cher (2)
e. Courtney Cox Arquette
f. Bob Geldof (3)
g. Barbara Hershey
h. John Mellencamp
i. Jamie Oliver (2)
j. Gwyneth Paltrow
k. Sylvester Stallone
l. Vanilla Ice
m. Frank Zappa (2)
n. Jon Bon Jovi
o. Madonna
p. Jason Lee
q. Jermaine Jackson

Lists and Shopping and Projects, Oh My!

2009-08-19T23:50:00.005-04:00

From the time I was knee high to a grass hopper I have adored, simply adored, making things. All kinds of things. From sewing and stamping and building to cutting and painting and gluing, I have done it all. There was a period of many years when I was little that every Christmas gift from my sisters was a box full of supplies – glue, tape, scissors, rulers, crayons, paper, staplers, pencils, paper clips, and more. And almost always there was a fantastic container made up of drawers and compartments that opened and swung out to store it all.

So it’s no wonder that the hours spent creating all sorts of things and organizing all those fun tools have shaped the person I have become. More often than not when I see something I like my first thought is “I can just make that myself.” Well a little one on the way has kicked that can-do spirit into high gear. The list is growing longer by the day as I stumble upon precious blankets, lively burp cloths, fresh nursery décor, cuddly stuffed animals, teeny tiny little outfits, and so much more.

The first two projects on the list are done and patiently await the wee one’s arrival. A yummy blanket with little fish swimming in a sea of gingham on one side and the softest minky fabric on the other side was the first project complete. The second was a bit more ambitious – a felt nativity with three wise men, a shepherd, Mary, Joseph, and baby Jesus in a manger. Check and check.

And now I move on to the nursery. Last weekend we headed to the furniture capital of the world and picked out the perfect crib, dresser/changing table, and comfiest chair ever. Now that that task is out of the way I can move on to making all the lovelies that will bring Wee Warner’s little haven to life. The list includes a crib bumper, skirt, and fitted sheet, a covered changing pad, curtains, a laundry bag, a few little pillows, and if time (and patience) allow, a quilt. Whew. I know. Insane, isn’t it? Throw in painting the walls, a bookcase, and a little table and I am going to be down right busy.

I am well aware that a bedding set, draperies, and décor from a big box store would do the trick. I am under no illusion that any of these things will make the little guy sleep better, grow stronger, or be smarter. But it’s not about that at all. It’s about creating the best space possible to allow those things to happen. A parent who truly gives of themselves is an example from day one. By doing what I do best for him, he learns to do the same. He finds his gifts and readily shares them with the world. He will not know this at 2 weeks, 2 years, or maybe even 2 decades. But just like me, at some point, he will recognize that those who came before him taught him well by simply doing well.

Lights, Camera, Action

2009-08-06T00:04:00.007-04:00

One of the rites of passage of pregnancy is reading numerous books that give you all sorts of helpful and useless information. Something you figure out pretty quickly is that many books contradict each other or, at the very least, have slightly different facts and figures.

One thing that is pretty consistent though is the details about when you may begin to feel your wee one move. All the info says you generally begin to feel movement between 18 and 22 weeks and it may be difficult to distinguish at first. It is likened most often to butterflies fluttering. It’s kinda crazy to think that you can feel lunch gone awry moving through your system, but yet you cannot feel something the size of a bell pepper tumbling around in your belly.

I have been very fortunate to have had a great pregnancy so far. No morning sickness, no nausea or queasiness, no weight gain (yet). So when I get asked for the 12th time in a day how I am feeling, my frequent response is “Honestly, not really pregnant.” As time has passed I have yearned to feel our little bundle of joy doing gymnastics. I thought it would at least be a daily signal that all was well and perhaps I would begin to really feel pregnant.

I read that around week 14 babies begin to have reflexes in response to light so if a bright light shone upon mama’s tummy, the wee one would turn away from it. Me being the impatient one that I am decided a few days into week 18 that I should give the old flash light a go. So early one morning as I lay rigidly still in hopes of catching the little guy wiggling, I got up, reached in Brett’s dresser drawer, and pulled out the powerful Maglite. I laid back down, put it to my belly, and waited. I held it in one place for a minute or two and then moved it to another for a few minutes. I was quite patient, sure that if I got just the right angle, the butterflies would suddenly flutter. After about 8 minutes, I gave up and pulled the flashlight away from my tum only to discover…I had never turned it on.

That was certainly a signal…it will happen. Just be patient. So I waited. And about two weeks ago there he was…giving me a little shove every now and again. And it felt nothing like a butterfly. Or anything else but exactly what it was - a teeny tiny being giving a little push from inside.

So if you have found yourself in conversation with me recently and I seemed a bit distant or checked out, it’s probably because Wee Warner is trying to get comfy and I am thinking how amazing it is that he really is in there and now I (sort of) feel pregnant.

P.S. Remind me in three months how enamored I was with the little stinker shoving me around. I have a hunch that feeling may change.

Bringing Sexy Back

2009-07-26T23:49:00.002-04:00

Brett and I stayed at a B&B on Hatteras Island a few weeks ago when we were there for a family wedding. On Sunday morning as we gathered around the breakfast table along with other folks who were bunking there, conversation turned to what each of us did for a living. Brett exclaimed, “I have a boring job. She’s the one with the sexy job.” Of course, the room erupted with laughter which instantly turned to curiosity about what I do.

Brett’s comment was founded in the fact that people always seem to give a passing “Hmm” when he says he is an Accountant at PwC, but seem to be overly intrigued and excited when I say that I am the Marketing Manager at the North Carolina Museum of Art. “Oh, wow! What a cool job! Do you love it? It must be so fun.” (Some days yes, and some days it’s just like your job…a job.)

But I have to be honest. I think my sister really has the sexy job. When I tell people what she does they are excited, intrigued, impressed, surprised, curious, and all around thrilled. It would make more sense if the recent turn of events in my life (being preggo) was what began to illicit the response. But the reaction has always been this way.

What does she do? Sarah is an Ob/Gyn. Yeah, I know, I scored, didn’t I? Most people rarely get to ‘use’ their siblings for their professional knowledge so I really lucked out. And not only is she the mayor of ladytown, she’s a rock star at her job. She’s fantastic at what she does and it shows. She really goes the extra mile and puts her heart into her work and the care of her patients. (And no, she is not my doctor and will not deliver Wee Warner). I have spies who tell me how awesome she is. And I can just tell. You know how sisters know things about each other from the subtleties in their stories and the history of a life shared? That’s how I know.

A friend at work inquired a few weeks ago if I ask Sarah a ton of questions now that I am pregnant. I quickly responded “Not too many. She’s shared so much over the years that I could probably do a hysterectomy on you right here on my desk with a letter opener and my stapler.” And it’s true. I have my MD, awarded to me by AT&T. So many hilarious, scary, unbelievable, sad, gross, and you-can’t make-this-crap-up stories have been shared by phone in the last 15 years.

I look forward to the years that lie ahead filled with the trials and triumphs of her storied career. And I do rest much easier at night these days knowing that at any given moment, no matter what time of day, no matter how big or small my worry may be, she’s on the other end of the line.

Three Men and a Lady

2009-07-20T21:56:00.007-04:00

One question I often get from folks who don’t know me well is Is this your first baby? I feel obligated to say yes so I don’t have to go into a long explanation about how this is really our second child. The last thing you want people thinking is that you are a crazy pregnant woman.

But anyone who knows Brett and me well knows that we already have a baby. Well I suppose you could say toddler. He is 22 months old and has been the apple of our eye since the day we first held him. And how he has grown and changed over the last year and half! He walks, talks, sleeps through the night, and even poops in his own potty. He is intensely curious and into everything he can reach. He adores his parents and in doing so, has wrapped us tightly around his little finger…

...or should I say paw. Baxter rules the roost around here. He has loads of personality, is as loyal as any pup I’ve encountered, and yearns for about as much attention as a 22 month-old toddler of the human variety.

Brett was reluctant to get a kitty. He never had pets growing up and wasn’t quite sure what to expect. When Baxter first arrived, Brett was a bit hesitant and unsure of what to do with him. But by the end of the first week, that precious little kitten put on such a show that Brett had no choice to fall head-over-heels for him.

We are excited to see Baxter’s reaction to Wee Warner upon his arrival. Baxter is keenly aware of change so I am sure he will figure out something is up when a nursery begins to take shape. And when we come home from the hospital, the little bundle of joy will certainly get a head-to-toe sniffing inspection from Mr. B. I just hope the old wives tale isn’t true…and that Baxter doesn’t suck the breath out of our wee one.

P.S. – Just for the record, we don’t dress our cat. Wee Warner’s auntie sent him a little tee with a note saying that it was for the newest Tar Heel. Baxter read it, assumed the gift was for him, and threw it right on.

All is Well

2009-07-13T23:02:00.004-04:00

Bust out the Pee-pee Teepees, Wee Warner is a boy! We had an anatomy scan of the little bugger today and he showed us his jewels in all their glory. Looked more like a blob to me but I trust our sonographer. She really knew her stuff.

As I lay there watching her scan every square inch of this tiny bundle, Brett and I were in awe of the science that was showing us what wee one looks like on the inside and out. She started at the brain and showed us layers that control balance and spaces that hold fluid. She measured the size and proportion of the noggin. She scanned the spine horizontally and vertically showing us vertebrae from the front and the top. She measured arms and legs and hands and feet. She zoomed in on the heart where we could see all four chambers pumping away. Organs including the kidneys, bladder, and stomach showed us they were working well with fluid flowing in and out. We saw where the umbilical cord attached to the belly and we saw arteries with blood flowing in. She showed us his eyes and lips and his tiny heels (all covered in tar, of course). The most amazing thing we saw was the scan of his jaw. It was moving at a steady pace - opening and closing as he drew in fluid. It was so remarkable to see all the parts and then even to see some of them operating.

The doctor came in and wanted to check things out for herself but the show was over and the star had retreated. The little stinker rolled face down, pulled his arms and legs under, and curled into a tiny ball. She poked and prodded for all she was worth but couldn’t get him to nudge. He was pretty darn cute all tucked in.

Seeing parts of wee one that we won’t even see after he is born was really amazing. Watching him move and wiggle as she pressed on him was fun. Finding out that our child is a boy was super exciting. But the best part of it all was the clean bill of health he received. All measurements were normal. All levels were within an acceptable range. All parts were in working order. Everything was the right shape and in the right place. And after he tucked away for a nap, mom and dad were all grins that the little guy is happy and healthy.

The Fruits of My Labor

2009-07-06T23:51:00.006-04:00

I think most expectant mamas (and even most soon-to-be papas) would say one of the most difficult things about pregnancy is relating to this life that you created that is so very close to you but yet you cannot see or hold or really touch. Human nature makes us so naturally curious…What does this little one look like now? How big has he/she grown? Is everything on the right track?

Modern medicine gives us the joy of the Doppler to hear the heartbeat (good, the clock is still ticking) and the wonder of the ultrasound to see even tiny fingers and toes (look at that little one wiggle).

But yet it is still hard to imagine holding that mysterious bundle in our own arms. One popular baby website is really great at giving a sense of growth and development. There is a lot of info about arm buds sprouting webbed hands that eventually turn into full arms with tiny fingers. There are pictures of the ever changing body of both baby and mama. There are funny anecdotes in weekly emails and really cool animated videos from conception to birth.

Surprisingly though, one of the most helpful bits of info is what fruit or vegetable I am carrying this week. That’s right. Just this week my tasty avocado has gone and turned into a funny little turnip. The site gives you a fruit or vegetable comparison for your wee one each week. The week that we discovered a bundle of joy was headed our way, there was a poppy seed. The next week I was busy turning that poppy seed into a sesame seed. Amazing! There have been yummy weeks like blueberry and shrimp and yucky weeks like lentil.

Just by happenstance my favorite fruit of all time is watermelon. And we have all heard that giving birth is like pushing out a watermelon. Well, I may have clicked to the end of the timeline only to be horrified at what I discovered. We’ll hit watermelon on week 39! What! What could be bigger? A Volkswagen beetle? Well…not quite that big…a pumpkin. That is so not helpful. Pumpkins come in a hundred different sizes and shapes. And unlike going to the pumpkin patch and picking out which one suits you best, you don’t have a choice as to which pumpkin you will give birth to. So here’s hoping for a week 39 delivery of one of those new sweet little personal watermelons. Yum.

The Top Ten(ish)

2009-06-29T22:24:00.010-04:00

All the world loves a pregnant woman. It makes perfect sense. Pregnancy is a sign of such wonderful things – hope, optimism, anticipation, becoming, starting anew. People want to protect you and encourage you and dream with you.

And they want to know so much. The last several weeks have been filled with answering many of the same questions, again and again. So here are the answers to the top ten(ish).

1. I am feeling fine. Thanks for asking.
2. We are excited. Very excited.
3. December 15.
4. We do plan to find out if it is a boy or girl.
5. We can find that out at the beginning of August.
6. Yes, I am still feeling fine.
7. They are thrilled to become grandparents, of course.
8. No, I haven’t had any weird cravings. Really.
9. I am sure you did figure out this is “what was going on” (whatever that means).
10. I am still feeling fine (for the 12th time).

And here are the three oddest questions I have gotten. The answer to all three is the same: Seriously?! None of your business.

1. How did you know?
2. How long have you known?
3. When did you decide to do that?

(If you asked me one of those, no need to be offended or remorseful. Just make a note for the next newly preggo pal you encounter.)

Any other questions?

Here Goes Something

2009-06-22T21:00:00.000-04:00

It seems like all blogs start out with some sort of disclaimer that in summary ends up saying “Here goes nothing.” But let’s give this one a big “Here goes something” kick-off.

Since I get paid to write things I should have no problem with this, right? Well, it’s easy to whip up an eloquent description of the visitor experience in the Museum Park or craft a heartfelt letter to thousands of members in someone else’s voice.

Sharing your own life, with all the ups and downs, being sure not to be too boring, whiney, or self-important, all the while maintaining a good sense of humor and a keen wit may be a bit more challenging. Recent life developments (you know, the impending wee one) will certainly give us something to chat about. I’m glad you’ve joined me on this venture…Here goes something!